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Ain't Ur Soccer Mom

Due to the insane demand, I present to you, for the first time, the first verse of Ain't Ur Soccer Mom.

Kid came home

He needed a treat

Well, ain’t that sweet!

Some kinda bake sale (bake sale!)

And I’m so gonna fail (fail!)

Honey, I ain’t ur soccer mom.

I don’t make cookies.

I don’t make pie.

Kid goes, “Why, oh why?”

Cos I ain’t ur soccer mom!

U want cookies,

U want food-lovin’

Go on, kid, find ur EZ bake oven!


You're WELCOME.

Feel free to write the next verse in comments. (This is my overflow journal, where I almost never post.) 

Watchmen

So like most other people in the world who enjoy comic books or graphic novels, I went to see The Watchmen movie today. Andres and I made an interesting control group. See, when I was in the States in December, I bought him a copy of it. He read it before the movie came out. I wanted to, but I have real trouble reading outside of the standard book format. I don't read word by word, or even line by line. I read by paragraph (which is why I read so fast). However, if you take those paragraphs and put them all over the place, in boxes, circles, and on top of pictures, I basically can't sort it out. I've tried. After a while, the leaping around and displacement of text gives me a headache and then I get nauseous. I've never met anyone else with this problem.

End result? I read three pages of the graphic novel before giving up. I figured if the movie was hard to follow, I could ask Andres for guidance. Therefore, I went in with only the cool images from the trailer in head. Until about 1/3 of the way through the movie, I assumed Jon (Dr Manhattan was an alien, along the lines of the Silver Surfer). Imagine my surprise when I found out the backstory!

Andres says the film is very faithful to the book, just with some of the side stories pared away. There was minimal alteration to the primary plot. I can't address that. I can only only give my impressions of the movie, going in uninitiated into the Watchmen world.

First off: I didn't read reviews. I seldom do because the stuff the critics enjoy often bores the crap out of me. I like movies that aren't PC, star Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider. Personally, I thought The Piano was a boring PoS that made me want to walk into the ocean after watching it. So we've established I'm not the intellectual elite. I love Vin Diesel movies, ones where Jason Statham drives a car too fast. I like it when stuff goes boom. The Spiderman movies, for instance, set off my emo-meter. They make me want to barf. No offense is meant to any person who loves the Spiderman movies; they just aren't my thing. The new Superman movie bordered on too emo for me.

I quite liked the Bale Batman movies. I looooooved the Punisher movie starring Thomas Jayne. I dug the X-Men flicks, and I have high hopes for Wolverine. HellBoy makes me tingly. Now you have some idea where I stand on my super-flicks, yeah? 

Watchmen gets two big thumbs up from me. For me, it's like a combination of Sin City and the Fantastic Four (which stunk out loud), but in a good way. It has all the darkness, grit, and noir of Sin City with the super-team feel of the FF. Get me? It's like a superhero movie examined through the broken end of a kaleidoscope. The story takes place in the aftermath of the heyday. The characters are compelling, and the development is quite impressive, considering it's an ensemble movie. You see the chinks in their armor; they're not super-strong, untouchable and perfect. These heroes are bloody, broken, flawed, wounded and drowning in a river of night.

It's strong, visual, violent, and in some places, heart-breaking. If you want a linear story, like Batman, or you're expecting some slick, feel-good special effects vehicle, this isn't for you. Watchmen is a movie that shines a light on the darkest aspects of human nature and suggests that there's no salvation, except through the fires we, ourselves, have stoked. But it didn't leave me in despair. It left me with hope. I suggest you go see it.


Tags:

Dollhouse

So I watched the DOLLHOUSE pilot last night. I thought it kinda stunk. So did this guy. I agree with pretty much everything he said. The writing was lacking the usual Whedon spark and quirkiness, the premise is weak, and Dushku isn't charismatic enough to carry such a clunker.

Did you catch it? Discuss.

Dear HQN,

After a Twitter-convo, Lori Devoti and I have decided you need a new category line. Since Next folded and Bombshell went belly up, you can clearly use our help.

Thus, we propose:  The Paranormal Presents line. We offer all the paranormal goodness in a condensed word count, complete with alpha-testosterone and punishing kisses.

The Vampire's Pregnant Secretary
The Werewolf's Virgin Mistress
The Warlock's Forced Bride

C'mon, these things practically write themselves. Feel free to contact Lori and me with a lucrative offer, and we'll get started on the launch titles right away! Seriously, email me! I could so do this for you.

Sincerely,

Ann

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